Aufgabe NT 2 - Aufgabe 1 · Abitur NRW Englisch LK · Nachtermin 2022

Klausurteil A

Hamilton Nolan

Down With the British Monarchy

A recent interview you may have heard about revealed that the British monarchy is a toxic den

of backbiting and racism. And who would doubt it? There is nothing easier to believe than that

an institution created to be the physical embodiment of classism is awash in inhumanity.

Where the public response to this humdrum revelation has gone astray is in the widespread

5 conviction that we should make the monarchy better. Not at all. You cannot turn a bottle of

poison into a refreshing drink, no matter how much sugar you pour into it.

A just and proper response to what we have learned would be for the entire United Kingdom

to come together, join hands in a great circle around the institution of the monarchy and

burn it to the ground, while singing “Sweet Caroline”, to maintain a positive spirit. Then

10 the members of the royal family can sweep up the ashes and deposit them neatly in the bin,

a ceremonial beginning to a new life of working for a living.

The existence of a monarchy is an admission that a government can’t, or doesn’t care to, solve

people’s problems. Instead, it offers spectacle. It has always been easier to elevate one family

to a fairy-tale life of luxury than to do the dreary work of elevating every single family to a

15 decent standard of living. The common people fund the lifestyle of a tiny, exalted and

thoroughly unworthy elite, rather than the other way around. Any nation that still has a

monarchy in 2021 is proving itself to have a mortifying lack of revolutionary gumption.

America is guilty of many crimes against humanity, but this is one thing we got right. Our

presidents may be national embarrassments, but at least Americans are not required to scrape

20 and bow before some utterly random rich wastrel whose claim to legitimacy is being the

child of the child of the child of someone who was, centuries ago, the nation’s biggest gangster.

Yes, we have our own hypnotic capitalist addiction to celebrity, but monarchy is something

altogether more twisted […].

What is a monarchy if not the highest veneration of inequality? Based not on moral worth

25 but on accidents of heredity, a small group of people are lavished with millions of dollars

skimmed from the public till and are worshiped as sentimental nationalist gods, in exchange

only for performing the duty of “being pleasant in public,” which they do with mixed success.

More than 60 million citizens, many of them living in poverty, are instructed to celebrate

rather than to loathe this tableau of excess. They are told to be happy that someone has a

30 dream life, even if it is not them […].

And that plan appears to be working: More than four in five British adults have a positive

view of the queen. The appeal of fancy hats is hard to overcome.

The stars of this insipid show will change with time. New princes and princesses will be

born, opulent weddings will be had, different coddled butts will get their turn to sit on the

35 cushioned throne. These machinations, each of them designed to occupy the public’s attention

for a while, are just the scrambling of termites atop the enormous nest that is the monarchy

itself. It feeds on the vigor of the working people and regurgitates it into a giant home for

itself.

Abolishing the monarchy shouldn’t be too tricky. First you take away their homes. Then

40 you take away their wealth. Then you take away their titles. All of those things properly

belong to the public, and those squatters have held them for far too long.

The good news for the royal family is that the economy seems to be on the rebound. It shouldn’t

be too hard for them to find jobs, even considering their lack of practical experience. They

could get honorable jobs at a Tesco market. What a wonderful opportunity for them to earn

45 an honest living, for the first time in their lives. As our social betters often tell the rest of us,

hard work is good for self-esteem. I expect that they will soon be happier than ever.

Annotations:

1 … interview you may have heard about… – reference to an interview with Prince Harry and his wife Meghan in which she criticised the way she was treated by members of the royal family

3 classism – here: discrimination on the basis of social class

9 Sweet Caroline – popular American song

17 gumption – courage and strength of mind

20 wastrel – person who does nothing positive with their life, making no use of their abilities or opportunities offered to them

29 tableau – here: scene, display

34 coddled – treated with too much care and attention

44 Tesco – multinational British supermarket chain

Grafische Darstellungen (Diagramme)

In 2021, the British market research firm Ipsos MORI surveyed a representative group of adults between the ages of 18 and 75 across Great Britain.

The Royal Family makes me think the UK is...?

Which of the following, if any, do you associate more with the United Kingdom because of the Royal Family? Please pick all that apply where the Royal Family makes a difference to your views.

The Royal Family makes me think the United Kingdom is.....

The future of the British Monarchy

On balance, do you think it would be better or worse for Britain in the future if the Monarchy was abolished, or do you think it would make no difference?

Klausurteil A: Leseverstehen und Schreiben integriert

1. Outline how the British monarchy is viewed according to Hamilton Nolan's article and the Ipsos MORI poll. (Comprehension) [12 Punkte]